SB 1.19.2
तदस्तु कामं त्वघनिष्कृताय मे यथा न कुर्यां पुनरेवमद्धा ॥ २ ॥
duratyayaṁ vyasanaṁ nāti-dīrghāt
tad astu kāmaṁ tv agha-niṣkṛtāya me
yathā na kuryāṁ punar evam addhā
Synonyms
tataḥ — therefore [tasmāt12]; kṛta-deva-helanāt — as a consequence of my offense to the Supreme Immanence [to Bhagavān Himself, who is situated within the heart, by virtue of which the meditator (Śamīka) had become the sacred ground of His appearance (antaḥ-sthito bhagavān eva tena dhyāyamānaḥ sa devālaya-rūpaḥ), and on this basis, the offense to God’s sanctuary was an offense to God Himself (ato devālayāpakāre deva evāpakṛto bhavati)13]; duratyayam — inevitable [(durnivāryam);14 or inescapable (ativarttitum aśakyam)15]; vyasanam — misfortune [or misery (duḥkham)16]; dhruvam — [will] certainly [(nūnam); (avaśyam)17]; [befall (bhaviṣyati)]; me — me [mama18]; tu — rather [kintu19]; astu — let; tat — that [misfortune (vyasanam)20]; me — [be brought to bear] upon me [mama21]; na ati dīrghāt — immediately [acirād eva22]; kāmam — freely [(yatheṣṭam);23 or unrestrictedly (asaṅkocataḥ)]; addhā — [and] directly [(sākṣāt), not by proxy, such as by way of his sons or others (na putrādi-dvāreṇa)]; agha-niṣkṛtāya — as atonement for my sin [aghasya prāyaścittāya]; yathā — so that; na kuryām — I may never commit; evam — such an atrocious act [evaṁ vidham agham24]; punaḥ — again.
Translation
Therefore, as a consequence of my offense to the Supreme Immanence, inevitable misfortune will certainly befall me. Rather, let that misfortune be brought to bear upon me—immediately, freely, and directly—as atonement for my sin, so that I may never commit such an atrocious act again.